The H dorm's biggest mission
by Ryuuzaki-kun
Summary: The Black diamond hand has been stolen and Master Hand has appointed the H dorm that consists of Link, Roy, Marth, Kirby, and the newly acquired Mewtwo to get it back. Completely OOC and has nothing to do with my other fic.
1. The 'Hand tribe'

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the story line and the "Hand Tribe". This is the start of my first adventure/humour fic! I'm so proud TT. This story doesn't relate to my other fic "So much for a happy ending" at all. Roy and Marth aren't in love and Roy acts like the weird guy in the story. I have no theme song for the first chapter as usual so this one will go unthemed. On with the fic!

* * *

Roy yawned and looked at the clock, "We've been here for at least six hours. I want my breakfast." 

Link held his stomach as it grumbled, "Stupid conference room. We should've turned this into a training room. Stupid hand…"

Kirby tapped his foot on the chair annoyingly, "WHERE THE HELL IS HE?"

Mewtwo had his eyes closed. Marth leaned his head on his hands and turned to Mewtwo, "At least Mewtwo seems pretty calm. How do you stay like that?" Marth poked Mewtwo on the shoulder.

Mewtwo fell over and opened his eyes, "I was trying to sleep." He got back onto his chair, "Damn that Master Hand. What is the point of waking us up at six in the morning only to show up late?"

"SIX HOURS LATE!" Roy boomed as he slammed his head against the conference table.

The door finally creaked open. Master Hand floated in, "Hello H dorm," He muttered cheerily.

"What the hell took so long?" Kirby barked at Master Hand.

"After I told you to meet in the conference room, I fell asleep. My mistake," Master Hand chuckled.

Marth stared at Master Hand _If you weren't a hand I'd choke you._ Marth kept his mouth shut despite what he had just thought.

"Let's get started." Master Hand dimmed the lights and set up a hologram, "We the Hands have been keeping a very important artifact safe within this building."

"You kept a very important artifact inside the H dorm knowing well and clear that Kirby was in this dorm?" Link asked skeptically.

Master Hand cleared his throat (Even if that's possible for him), "Before we brought together all the smash brothers, these dorms were used to house many floating hands such as myself. Let's call it the "Hand Tribe"."

"How creative," Link rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, the hand tribe started to dissipate. After they all left, I came back with Crazy Hand and we created the super smash brothers. H dorm held all the leaders and lords."

Roy looked at the hologram projector, "If you just told us the story, what was that for?"

Master Hand turned to it, "Oh," He turned it on, "This is what you must get back."

"Uh…" Marth examined it carefully, "Some kind of black hand statue?"

"It's a statue made by the hands that symbolizes our individuality and how we are unique."

"You're a giant, floatinghand. How can you get more unique?" Kirby snapped back, "Just make another one. It's just a hand."

"The statue is made of an extremely rare black diamond."

Roy nodded, "So why can't you make another one?"

Master Hand sighed, "It has a lot of sentimental value! Just get it back!"

"Why can't you ask the Poke-mon dorm?" Link asked.

"I put all of you in the H dorm because you all make the perfect team." Master Hand retorted, "Now go get the statue!"

"I don't believe you." Marth stood up and stretched his legs, "Why would Kirby be here?"

Link stood up, "Court adjourned."

"You can have a two month break from anything if you find that statue." Master Hand replied.

They all stopped. Mewtwo's eyes snapped open.

"When do we start?" Roy shouted.

* * *

This chapter was kinda slow for me since I don't like writing for Master Hand. In the other chapters, there'll be meetings with Ragnarok people and ragnarok places just to tell you ahead of time. Please R & R and no flaming unless you're under extreme stress.


	2. Morroc

Sorry this took so long. I've been working on my Maple Story fics. This story mixes a lot with my Ragnarok server stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story and the "black diamond hand".

The characters that are in the story are actually real players in Avalon/excalibur Ragnarok so the "Kaidoh" mentioned in this isn't from prince of tennis, it's a player in ragnarok. The landscapes in this story are also from Ragnarok. I don't think I'll be adding anymore theme songs since they never really match the story completley and I'm getting lazy :P.

* * *

"Where do we go from here Roy?"

Roy looked at the small piece of paper in his hand, "It says to go to Morroc city and keep going south until you hit snow."

"Snow?" Kirby sneered, "We're in the desert! What did Master hand right on that?"

Link took the map, "Well, there isn't even snow on this map."

Mewtwo looked at the piece of paper, "Roy…it says bones."

Marth sighed, "Master Hand is a nut case! He gave the navigation material to Roy."

Link took out a travel guide from his bag, "Morroc is pretty cool. Let's stay there for the night."

"But we could return to the H dorm if we start now." Marth complained.

"Shut it princess," Kirby turned to Link, "Let's get a move on."

Roy ran after them, "I want a big room!"

Mewtwo rolled his eyes, "Why am I in this dorm?" He chased after the others.

Marth stood there, completely isolated, "Princess…" He growled before he ran after them.

Link looked at the travel guide, "Morroc looked better in the picture."

Kirby kicked the wall, "This place is a dump."

Mewtwo looked at the walls, "This place must've been here for at least a millennium."

"Yeah," Link nodded, "What's that?"

"1000 years…" Mewtwo sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Why couldn't you have just said 1000 years then?" Link sneered.

Roy poked at a pile of eggs on the ground, "Whoa," When he poked the egg, it would move away from him on its own. Roy continued to poke it, "This is so fun!"

Marth pulled him back, "As your unofficial brother of fire emblem…"

"Don't you mean sister? Princess," Kirby sneered.

Marth's eye twitched but he maintained his calmness, "Roy," He pulled Roy away, "Stop poking it."

The eggs started to glow. Roy examined them closely, "Hey look. Something's coming out."

A yellow ant crawled out from the eggs. Marth screamed and jumped backward, "Get it away!" He wrapped his arms around Mewtwo's tail, "Kill it!"

Kirby raised his foot and kicked it away. He looked at Marth with a look that just said: _What's wrong with you?_ "Why am I not surprised?"

Link looked at Marth, "What was that Marth?" He sighed deeply, "Never mind that. Let's just get to work and find this 'Black diamond' hand."

Kirby scratched his head, "Isn't black diamond that cheese?"

Mewtwo shrugged, "I guess so."

Marth slowly got up, "I'm afraid of bugs. Is there a problem?"

"Yes," Kirby replied, "You."

Roy looked around for more eggs, "What's that sound?"

There was the sound of gentle footsteps behind the buildings. Kirby took out a steyr TMP, "I'll handle it." He swallowed the steyr TMP and two guns appeared in his hand.

Mewtwo summoned his telekinesis, "Be ready for anything."

Marth drew his sword. Link took out his bow and arrow, "Roy, let's get ready to do our double sword smash." Silence followed what he said, "Roy?"

"Hi! What's your name?" Roy asked the figure in the shadows.

A silver haired man with a hairstyle that resembled Roy's stared at him. He had yellow horns on his head and he wore a red and black leather ensemble, "The name's Vlad." He stepped out from the shadows, "I thought I would be the only tomb robber here. I guess not. Have you met my pet Goldy?" A giant golden bug crawled out from the shadows, "He's the coolest!"

Marth screamed and attempted to run away. Link held onto his cape, "Calm down!"

Mewtwo cleared his throat and walked towards Vlad, "Do you know where we might find the artifact known as the black diamond hand?"

Vlad stroked his chin and knelt to Goldy, "Black diamond hand…isn't that the cheese?" He took out a round silver ball and fed it to Goldy, "I've never heard of it."

"Our master sent us to go look for it since it was stolen. Do you know anyone that could help us find it?"

Vlad stood up and cleared his hands, "Let's see. You could try asking professor Kaidoh. He usually knows all this stuff."

Roy knelt down to Goldy, "Who's a good golden bug?" He scratched its head, "You're so cute." He cooed to the bug.

Link sighed deeply and shook his head, "What's wrong with you Roy?" He looked at the hissing, angry bug, "You need glasses."

Kirby yawned and turned to Marth, "I think Marth lost it."

Marth curled up into a ball at the bottom of Link's feet.

Link looked at him, "This is called the fetal position. When the victim is affected by so much fear, they revert back to their childhood for safety."

Kirby nodded, "Sure." He looked down. _I have no clue what that means. _

Mewtwo nodded to Vlad, "Where will we find this Kaidoh you speak of?"

"He should be in the city or Morroc." Vlad pointed to a small path between cliffs, "You take that path there until you hit a pool of water. Then the city walls should be just in front."

Mewtwo looked around, "Isn't this Morroc?"

Vlad laughed and patted his shoulder, "Hell no. This is old Morroc. No one lives here anymore. Kaidoh is probably in the tavern."

"Thank you," Mewtwo replied, "Let's go."

Roy poked another egg, "We're leaving?"

Link pulled on Marth's cape, "Come on." He dragged Marth against the sand.

Vlad waved to them, "Good luck on your adventure." He held onto a pouch of money, "Suckers."

* * *

Link nodded, "This should be it." He stood in front of a small stone building, "Professor Kaidoh must be in there." He walked into the building. 

A brute figure knocked Link to the ground, "No money, no entry." The figure seemed to be a silver haired girl.

Mewtwo touched his shoulder bag, "I brought some money with me." He shook the bag thoroughly, "I know I have some. Just wait a second…" Mewtwo kept sorting through his stuff, "Where is it?" He stopped and dropped the bag.

_Vlad laughed and patted his shoulder, "Hell no. This is old Morroc. No one lives here anymore. Kaidoh is probably in the tavern." _

"That damn thief…" Mewtwo growled, "I'll kill Vlad when I get my hands on him."

The girl blinked, "You know Vlad? He's a very close friend of mine. We knew each other since childhood. You can come in." She let Mewtwo inside.

Link smiled, "Uh…I'm with him."

Kirby nodded, "Same,"

The girl let both of them in. She stopped Roy and Marth, "Okay, no couples allowed in there."

"I'm not with him!" Marth barked, "And we're not gay!"

The girl looked closely at Marth, "Oh…you're a guy." She glanced at both of them, "Still, no entry. Pay me a total of 10000 zeny and you're in."

Marth looked through his pocket, "Uh…"

Roy took out a card, "Do you take Chapters gift cards?"

The girl laughed, "You're pretty funny. You're in." She let Roy in. She turned to Marth, "Pay up or take a hike."

Kirby looked around, "This place is filled with drunks and gamblers. This is my kind of place."

Link yawned, "They have a hotel upstairs. I'm going to take a little siesta."

Mewtwo looked around, "Excuse me," He walked up to a customer, "Do you know someone with the name Kaidoh?"

Kirby sat by the bartender, "Give me four bottles of Russian vodka."

Roy sat by a hold'em table. A man wearing an eye patch looked at him, "Who are you kid?"

"I'm Roy." Roy replied plainly, "Who are you?"

The group around him bellowed loudly. The man with the eye patch snickered, "I'm the greatest hold'em player here. Are you going to join the game?"

A red haired girl stared back at Mewtwo, "Professor Kaidoh is over there." She pointed over to a man with white haired tied up in a ponytail, "That one."

Mewtwo bowed, "Thank you," He ran over to the man, "You guys! I found professor Kaidoh!" The rest of the team was too preoccupied to listen to him, "Oh…"

The white haired man turned around, "What do you want?"

"I'm looking for something called the black diamond hand. Do you know where it is?" Mewtwo sat down next to him.

Kaidoh thought for a sec, "I've never heard of an artifact with such a name. Isn't black diamond the cheese?"

"It's like a black gloved hand that's kind of floating out of nowhere. It's about this big." Mewtwo moved his hands around, "Have you seen it?"

"I've never heard of it. I heard there's some activity in Anthell." Kaidoh replied, "Try going there. It looks like a hole in the ground with bones surrounding it."

"Oh, so that's what Master Hand was talking about." Mewtwo whispered to himself, "Thank you for your assistance." He bowed to Kaidoh and ran to Roy and Kirby, "Let's go."

Link ran down the stairs, "Do you have any money? They wouldn't let me buy a bed."

"There's no time. I know where to find the 'Black diamond hand'." Mewtwo replied.

Roy held up a huge bag of money, "I have some. I won all of it when I played hold'em."

Kirby drank down the last of his vodka, "You know how to play hold'em?"

"No," Roy replied, "I just kept saying 'All in' and I won."

Link rolled his eyes, "Let's just go."

Marth rolled on the ground, "Get back here!" He chased a bouncing green blob with a backpack on. He grabbed it, "Got it!" Green slime splattered onto his body, "I don't know if I should scream or cry." Marth stood up, "Let me in."

The girl took the green blob, "You took longer than most people." She looked at his ripped and muddy clothes. Green slime was splattered all over his body, "Most people usually aren't as messed up as you. Go in,"

Marth smiled and opened the door. Kirby pushed the door into Marth and he fell over, "We're leaving."

"What?" Marth shouted, "But I—She—what?"

"You heard the man." Link replied, "We are leaving."

The green blob jumped away again. The girl rolled her eyes and stared at it. Roy dropped the bag of money on the ground, "I'll get it!" He waved his hands, "Come back. I'll give you some money."

The green blob turned around and looked at him. Roy gave him a gold coin, "Thanks for the money." The green blob replied.

"It can talk?" Link asked.

The girl picked up the green blob again, "Yeah. I thought everyone knew that."

Marth sighed deeply, "Damn that. Where are we going Mewtwo?"

Mewtwo smiled, "Just follow me." Mewtwo floated into the desert, "You're not going to like what I'm going to say Marth…"

After a long walk, they reached the cave with bones around it. They all entered it slowly.

Marth twitched and froze in his spot, "It's an ant hill?"

* * *

I think I know what you're thinking. _What the hell does: Roy took out a card, "Do you take Chapters gift cards_?" _mean? _My friend tried to "bribe" the teacher with a Chapters gift card so he could pass the test. I felt like I had to use it. Please R & R 


	3. Anthell

This is the third and final chapter. I tried to push the final chapters into one chapter since I want to start on a new story soon. Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic except for the story.

* * *

Marth screamed as an ant crawled towards him, "It's going to kill us!" He shielded his head.

Link watched it pass by, "You have to get over your fear of bugs." Link yawned, "Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Yes," Mewtwo summoned his telekinetic powers, "I'm going to read the ant's mind. They might know where it is. Everyone stay quiet." Mewtwo pushed his hands together and concentrated hard.

Roy poked at an ant egg. He laughed and kept poking it. Marth sat on the ground with his knees to his chest and his hands over his head.

Kirby looked at the ants passing by, "There must be thousands of ants in here."

"Thousands?" Marth squealed.

"Nah," Kirby replied, "Probably millions."

"Millions?" Marth squeaked.

Link scoffed, "Kirby, stop scaring Marth. Marth, stop being such a wimp. Roy, stop poking that egg."

Roy poked at it one more time, "Okay," Roy pulled on his arm, "I can't let go." He turned to see his arm, "Alright, what's going—" Roy screamed as he kicked the ant that practically swallowed his arm.

The ant hissed and started to attack him. Roy drew his sword and slashed it back, "You're no match for me." He sliced it in half, "Ha!"

All the ants suddenly turned to them hissing and approached them. Kirby rolled his eyes, "Goddamn it Roy, why do you do shit like this?" Kirby took out his guns.

Link sighed heavily, "Roy, you moron." He drew his sword and took out a bomb.

Marth screamed and rolled into a ball tightly, "They're going to kill us!"

Roy drew his sword, "Do we fight them?"

"If you want to die, you can go ahead and sit down." Link snapped as he threw his bombs at the ants.

Mewtwo nodded as he made a telepathic bond to the ant, "I see." His eyes were closed, "Do you know where this 'entity' placed the object?" The ant in front of him nodded, "I see. It's inside the giant beetle statue? Can you give me the coordinates?"

While Mewtwo talked to the ant, the battle between the H dorm smashers and the ants raged ferociously.

"Okay," Mewtwo replied, "Can you describe to me how the 'entity' looked like?" Mewtwo nodded, "A giant floating shadow, okay." Mewtwo opened his eyes, "Thank you," Mewtwo turned to the others, "I know where it is."

The team crawled out from a huge pile of unconscious ants. They clawed their way out, "Lead the way,"

"The mysterious floating entity left the black diamond hand inside a giant beetle-like statue. We just have to head down one more level according to the ant." Mewtwo explained, "All of you have been oddly silent. Are you all okay?"

Kirby put his hands behind his head, "We're all perfectly fine. We couldn't be better." He saw an ant crawling out from the dirt, "GET IT AWAY!" He took his gun and fired at the ant until nothing was left.

Link sliced at an ant-like statue, "Damn it all Roy! Now you made us all bug-a-phobic like Marth!"

Roy shivered, "It's not my fault."

"Then whose fault is it?" Kirby barked.

Marth held his hands over his ears, "I can still hear it. That dreaded hissing!"

Link patted Marth on the back, "Don't worry. We're all scared of it now." Link shouted in anguish, "Damn that! Now I can't make fun of Marth!"

Kirby screamed in anguish as well, "Are we there yet Mewtwo?"

Mewtwo showed them an underground tunnel lined with bones, "Let's go." He held up his hand and created a purple glow to lead the way, "I'd suggest Marth should brace himself. The second level probably has way more insects than the first level."

Roy, Kirby, Marth, and Link froze. They all drew their weapons and crept down the tunnel. Mewtwo looked out from the tunnel, "Follow me. You could get lost in a place like this."

Marth held his hands over his head, "There's nothing here. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Kirby floated onto Mewtwo's head, "I'll keep lookout from up here." He looked around shakily, "Yeah…"

Roy kept his eyes shut, "Just think of muffins. Just think of bacon…" He kept repeating that.

Link shook as he took every step. He tried his best to stay away from all the bugs, "There's nothing to fear but fear itself."

There was a hissing sound that filled all their ears. They all immediately lost their state of calmness and screamed.

Mewtwo zapped the spider-like creature he stepped on, "It's alright. I didn't kill it. I just immobilized it. My tail accidentally swept it." Mewtwo looked ahead, "There's the statue."

Kirby floated over to Link shoulder, "What were we so scared about? There's nothing to fear down here. They're just normal bugs and—WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Kirby barked as he pointed at the statue.

The four of them screamed and drew their weapons. Marth shook as he stepped forward, "That statue is moving!"

The legs that hung from the beetle statue wriggled around. The antennae brushed across the ground close to it. Mewtwo looked underneath it and took out a black hand statue, "I found it!" He blew at it, "It seems kind of dusty. Let's get back to the H d…d…" Mewtwo's eyes widened impossibly. He pointed at them and screamed.

"What's wrong Mewtwo?" Marth asked him.

"Th…th…THAT!" Mewtwo pointed and screamed at the top of his lungs.

The rest of them fell to a grim conclusion and felt a shiver run down their spine. They slowly turned their heads.

A giant ant like creature with two giant blades stood before them. It screeched a blood-curdling scream that sent cold blood running through their veins. Link, Roy, Marth, and Kirby immediately paled.

Mewtwo tucked the black diamond hand away, "Come on you guys. We can take it." He heard the screams and footsteps of them running away. Mewtwo stared at the raging giant ant, "On second thought," He ran away with them.

* * *

They all cheered as they walked back to their dorm.

"We got the black diamond statue!" Marth cheered, "I can't wait for our break from fighting."

Kirby smiled, "We'll live as gods!"

"Heads up!" A voice shouted as two shuriken were thrown at them.

Link held up his shield and ricocheted them off, "What was that?"

A spiky haired blond kid ran up and grabbed the shuriken, "Sorry about that. I'm Naruto. My friend Sasuke and I were training. Guests should be careful when they're touring the battle grounds. The boy ran away.

"Who's Naruto?" Mewtwo muttered.

"Guests?" Kirby replied, "We've been living here for at least a few years!"

A brown spiky-haired kid with a giant key fought against a silver-haired kid that held a dark red and blue sword. The brown haired kid glowed with white light while the other kid glowed black. A spiky haired man garbed in black wielding a giant sword broke both of their fighting up.

"One, two, three, four, five…" Marth counted.

"I can count too Marth…" Link rolled his eyes.

Marth gasped, "We've been…replaced!"

Roy gasped, "You're right!" He pointed to the sign, "The H dorm sign has been changed. It says 'The PS2 team'?"

The master hand chuckled and floated in front of them, "About that…we have gotten complaints from the other smashers so I'm afraid we had to let you go. Mewtwo, the pokemon said that you constantly steal food from them and you keep showing them up with you powers."

They all stared at Mewtwo, "I didn't know that was a crime."

"Marth, you keep stealing Princess Peach's crown shine and you destroyed the whole pokemon dorm."

Kirby growled, "That was you! I got blamed for blowing up the pokemon dorm and it was YOU all along!"

Marth waved his hands in front of himself, "It was just one bob-omb. I only borrowed her crown shine once!"

"Link, you were caught on camera sneaking around the girl's dorm."

Link laughed as the guys stared at him, "It wasn't me." He laughed shortly, "It was Young Link! I swear!"

"Kirby, we've all lost count on what you've done over the years."

Kirby laughed, "I rock."

"Roy, you constantly call Mr. Game-and-watch 'Gay men watch' and you keep stealing all the muffins and bacon from the kitchen."

Roy scoffed, "I didn't know it was a crime to mispronounce someone's name." He crossed his arms, "I just like bacon and muffins."

"You've all been banned from entering the Smashers territory." Master hand replied.

Mewtwo held onto the statue, "Hey…that means this statue meant nothing."

"I made up that story since I knew you wouldn't leave on your own. Was it fun? I'm thinking of making that an annual event." Master hand chuckled.

They all grimaced at him.

"You mean we ran into a bug infested hellhole for nothing." Link hissed as he drew his sword.

"Yeah," Master hand replied, unaware of the danger.

"Are you saying I ran around the scorching desert for nothing at all?" Mewtwo hissed as he summoned his magic.

Master hand nodded, "Pretty much,"

"We almost got eaten by bugs because of you…" Kirby drew his steyr TMP.

Master hand glanced at all their weapons, "What are you planning to do?" They all began to corner him, "Hello? H dorm? Are you listening to me?" They all raised their weapons, "Oh crap."

* * *

And that's the end of that! I'm not sure if the game "Naruto" was featured on Playstation2 just to tell you ahead of time. Please R & R 


End file.
